Day 215: The Purpose Myth

The Cultural Spell

Across social media, a mythic character from Chinese animation is striking a nerve. In the 2019 film Ne Zha, a child is born into a curse and told his destiny is destruction. But instead of surrendering, he draws a line in the sand: “My fate is not decided by heaven.” His defiance echoes a deeper truth: purpose isn’t something we’re handed. It’s something we choose.

We stand at similar forks in our lives. The trail splits. One direction looks safe, expected. The other is unmarked. Overgrown. We hesitate not always from fear, but from conditioning. From the belief that there is one “right” path, and if we miss it, our life will be less.

We’ve been sold the Purpose Myth: that there is one true calling waiting for us like a soulmate, and that our job is to find it, claim it, and commit to it forever. It shows up in subtle ways like in college essays asking 17-year-olds to map their lives. In motivational speeches that promise joy if we just "follow our bliss." In social media reels of people beaming in their dream jobs. We watch these images and internalize a quiet panic: what if I haven’t found mine?

The myth is compelling because it sounds noble. It speaks to our longing to matter. But it is also dangerous. When we believe there is only one true path, we become paralyzed. Every decision feels high-stakes. Every pivot feels like failure. We start measuring our worth by how close we are to some imagined endpoint.

And when life disrupts our plans (i.e. an illness, a layoff, a relationship that changes us) we think we must have taken a wrong turn. That our purpose is now out of reach. The soulmate myth doesn’t allow for reinvention. It doesn’t allow for seasonality. It doesn’t honor that we are always evolving.

But what if purpose isn’t a treasure to be found, but a shelter to be built? What if it emerges not from a divine whisper, but from the compost of our attention; from what we care for, what we keep returning to, what lights us up in the doing?

Ne Zha didn’t wait to be chosen. He chose himself. He refused the script others gave him. That act of self-definition wasn’t rebellion. It was liberation.

Our purpose doesn’t always come with clarity. Sometimes it arrives as a hunch. A curiosity. A question we can’t stop asking. It may not be our career. It may not be Instagrammable. But it’s real.

Purpose, as we practice it here, is a relationship with what matters to you, and with the world you want to help shape. It’s less about arrival and more about alignment. Less about titles and more about impact. Less about what you do, and more about the spirit in which you do it. You don't need to find your one true purpose. You need to listen for what wants to be lived through you. And trust that there is no wrong path, only the one you're willing to walk.

Let’s dismantle the idea that purpose is something fixed, external, and discoverable like a career soulmate. Instead, science, psychology, and lived experience point to a more flexible, resilient view: that purpose is constructed, seasonal, and co-created through action, reflection, and contribution.

Purpose is Emergent, Not Found

Dr. Carol Dweck, known for her work on growth mindset, has found that people who believe purpose is something developed over time are more likely to feel fulfilled and less likely to experience career paralysis. In contrast, those who believe there is one single predestined purpose can become anxious, indecisive, and self-critical when their lives don’t match the mythical narrative.

“People who see purpose as a journey are more likely to stay motivated through setbacks.” — Carol Dweck

In short, believing you must "find your calling" can backfire. The more helpful belief? That you build it. You build it by showing up, trying things, making meaning, and paying attention.

Narrative Identity: We Author Our Purpose

According to narrative psychologist Dr. Dan McAdams, our sense of purpose is not a fixed identity but an evolving life story. We become who we are by constructing internal narratives that give coherence and meaning to our lives. Those who tell "redemptive" or growth-oriented stories (e.g., turning hardship into insight) tend to report higher life satisfaction.

"Purpose is a thread we weave, not a label we wear."

So when we shift our inner storytelling from “I never found my passion” to “I keep discovering meaningful ways to contribute", we liberate ourselves from the myth of a single, right path.

Multiple Purposes Are Normal

Dr. Kendall Cotton Bronk, a developmental psychologist who studies purpose in youth, has shown that most people experience multiple sources of purpose across their lifetime. A person might derive purpose from parenting, creative expression, spiritual practice, community service, and career at different points or even simultaneously. Purpose isn’t monogamous. It’s plural. Our culture often elevates the idea of "one true calling" because it feels cleaner. But real lives are messy. The ability to carry multiple purposes is a strength, not a failure of focus.

Contribution Drives Meaning

One of the most reliable psychological predictors of purpose is a sense of contribution. According to research from UCLA's Social Neuroscience Lab, purposeful living is biologically associated with higher levels of oxytocin and dopamine especially when people feel they are making a difference in someone else’s life.

This aligns with the work of Dr. Emily Esfahani Smith, who in her book The Power of Meaning, identifies four pillars of a meaningful life: belonging, purpose, storytelling, and transcendence. Purpose, in her framework, is deeply connected to being of service to something larger than oneself.

"Purpose is what happens when your presence matters."

You don't need to save the world. You need to matter to someone, somewhere.

Purpose and Health

Purpose isn’t just a feel-good abstraction. It’s a well-being tool. A study published in JAMA Psychiatry found that people with a strong sense of purpose were less likely to develop cognitive impairments as they aged. Another longitudinal study in Psychological Science showed that having a sense of purpose is associated with a longer lifespan, regardless of income, education, or health status.

Purpose doesn’t just enrich your days. It extends them.

Purpose Evolves with Life Stages

Developmental psychologist Erik Erikson proposed that different life stages come with different psychosocial tasks. In young adulthood, we seek intimacy; in middle age, generativity; and in later life, integrity. These stages correspond with shifting forms of purpose. Trying to force one permanent definition across a lifetime denies this natural evolution.

Your purpose at 25 doesn’t have to match your purpose at 50.

When we let purpose evolve with us, we experience more peace and less internal pressure to “arrive.”

Micro-Purposes Matter Too

Sometimes we overlook real sources of meaning because they don’t seem big enough. But research from positive psychology and behavioral science shows that micro-purposes matter. A teacher making one student feel seen. A barista who adds art to a latte. A parent who creates bedtime rituals. These small acts of intentionality anchor us in meaning.

If you can’t name your macro-purpose, start with your micro-ones.

They are not lesser. They are where purpose often begins.

You Can Choose Again

Finally, neuroscience reminds us that the brain is not fixed. Through neuroplasticity, we can rewire habits of thought and response. That means we can choose again. Choose new values. New priorities. A new sense of what matters now. So if the story you’ve been living no longer fits or if you feel you’ve been living someone else’s purpose, you are allowed to rewrite it. Ne Zha chose again. So can you.

Construct Your Purpose Portfolio

Let go of the idea that your life must orbit a single, divine purpose. Instead, begin with what is already real. Build a purpose portfolio by naming what currently brings meaning, impact, and energy into your life.

• List 3 activities that energize you (not to impress others but that energizes you).

• List 3 relationships where your presence makes a difference.

• List 3 recent moments when you felt aligned, even briefly.

Then reflect: What values are emerging? What patterns or emotions thread through these lists? Finally, complete this sentence: Right now, my purpose feels like ________…

Let it be incomplete. Let it be evolving. That’s the point.

The Fire That Frees You

We return to Ne Zha not for spectacle, but for symbolism. He wasn’t born with clarity. He was born with expectation. He chose, again and again, to live outside it. And in doing so, he turned a prophecy into a possibility.

So many of us live under silent prophecies:

• You must choose once and stick to it.

• You must be exceptional to matter.

• You must find the path before you walk it.

But the truth is quieter: You are already becoming. With every honest step, you build the architecture of purpose. With every kind word, every boundary held, every question followed; you declare your intention to live meaningfully.

There is no perfect path. Only the one you're walking with care. You weren’t meant to find your purpose. You were meant to make it.

If this post resonates, share it with someone questioning their next step. Your ripple matters.

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